Grumpy Snow Owl

It’s April 27th, and I saw tiny snowflakes falling from the sky as I let the dog out this morning. She frolicked with happiness. I turned grumpy.

Re-enactment. We share a stunning resemblance, though, don’t we?

I also have a case of the grumps, though, because I haven’t run in a while. I’m rather run down instead. I’ve had a cold for two weeks now, and I just really wish I could breathe out of my nose and that my eyes weren’t itchy and that my head didn’t feel so gummed up. I also feel like sleeping for days.

I’m being hard on myself for not running, but at the same time, it’s kind of a relief to allow myself some time to recuperate. Usually, I push through my illnesses and train anyway. This time, though? I’m stepping back. Perhaps it’s something to do with the lousy nature of my last long run. Perhaps it’s something bigger. I have some decisions to make, though, and they will have an effect on the future of my running “career.” (Career? Hobby? Lifestyle? I am not sure how to address it.)

I’m considering starting at level 1, if that makes any sense. And I’ll see where that takes me. My ankle injury is reverberating longer than I had expected, and I just don’t feel ready for going too long-distance at this time. After my last run, my heart isn’t in it. I’m trying to re-vamp too many other things in my life right now: eating, self-reflection, meditation/yoga. All things that will give me more peace before I begin rigorously training again. Don’t get me wrong. I love running, and I don’t want to quit it. I still have my big goals to achieve, and I want to get there soon!

But I have to help the other “pieces” of my life fall in place first. I can’t train and lose weight at the same time. I can’t incorporate as much meditation and yoga as I want when I’m trying to keep my mileage high. Maybe other people have a propensity for these things. I just don’t right now.

I don’t know where all this rambling leaves me, and kudos to you if you’ve made it this far. I do know I want to continue blogging with a focus on running and health and mamahood. I like getting my thoughts out on virtual paper, and I hope I’ve been able to give something good to the wonderful people who read this as well.

For today, though…I’m going to focus on each day as it comes. I’m going to try to do things that bring me joy at that very moment in time. I hope find the time and effort to do the same.

2/7/17: Tasty Tuesday

Today’s Tasty Tuesday isn’t exactly what it has been in the past. Because this is what we ate tonight:

Enter a caption

I’m putting it “out there,” because I want this blog to reflect my reality, whether that’s the fluffy happy stuff or the down-in-the-dumps, order-pizza-because-I-don’t-know-how-to-move kind of stuff. I am human. This is something that happens to me. This is how my body wants to cope with stress, and some days, I can’t push through it.

In particular, this kind of thing happens when I’m just worn out. Restless sleep has been my normal these past couple of weeks. A constant weight on my shoulders and chest is the anxiety that plagues me at most all hours. Between illness and other various stressors, I went into today feeling like I was barely keeping it together. I slept all of 4 hours last night, but I still crawled out of bed to greet the day with a run.

It was hard. I feel I have reverted to square one. Between the ice and junky weather, loss of endurance, and various aches and pains (some related to my injury, some not), I’ve gone up almost 2 minutes per mile. It.Makes.Me.Feel.Crazy.

But I knew without my run, I’d just feel crazier. So I did it anyway.

I came home to a sick baby. AGAIN! I am so, so tired of having a sick kid. I feel awful for her, and I can’t fix it. I hate missing work, and I hate feeling behind. And all of it takes the wind out of my sails.

But this morning, I was able to pick up those droopy sails and get through the day. Once she started feeling better, we played and danced and made art and sang. We watched movies and read a zillion books and just enjoyed each other’s company. Rather than trying to fix her troubles, I just tried to enjoy this extra time together.

When I grabbed my phone, she literally asked, “Mom, are you turning on Snapchat?” I don’t know how this makes me feel. Don’t care. Cute kitty picture.

I fully believe I was able to do this because I ran this morning. It takes an edge off the anxiety, and it gives me even a momentary feeling of peace.

The slick pavement covered in shadows and black ice? That is my refuge. The crisp morning air that burns my lungs and leaves me wheezing a bit when I get back indoors? The burn is a reminder of what I can accomplish when I push through. The ache in my legs detracts from that weight on my shoulders.

Certainly, there have been darker days. I have dealt with them. I will continue to deal with them. There will be better days. I know this to be true, because I have lived it time and time again.

Just.Keep.Running.

Read on. Run on.
Cassie

P.S. I wanted to lighten the mood a little. So here’s the face you make when you’re supposed to be sleeping but get caught reading instead. Mama is actually pretty proud.

1/1/17: New

Tonight, I spent the evening playing board games with Mini-Me and hubby. And then after the Mini went to bed, hubby and I had a much needed Nerf gun fight. Although this may not sound like the most riveting New Year’s evening to some, I am content. As hubby and I watched some live broadcast of Time’s Square, I described it as a “living nightmare” in my world. (Bright lights. TOO MANY people. Stuck. Terrible.)

RIP Chewbacca. Sorry you got caught in the middle.

I’m fine being in my own house, and I’m even impressed we made it past midnight. In fact, it’s 1:18 AM as I type this.  We are party animals.

As promised, I have some of my New Year focuses (foci?) ready to blog. I’m not committing to super-specific goals. Just things I want to keep in mind this year to make my life and the lives of those around me better.

There are seventeen, because 2017. So brace yourselves. This is going to be a long ride (and I totally won’t judge you if you skip all of this).

1. Hydrate/Track – Keep on top of my water intake, and keep an honest food journal.
2. Yoga/Meditation – This is something that has benefitted me in the past year, and I really need to enhance it.
3. Read 50 pages per day – When I read, it means I’m not spending time on mindless activities, like scrolling through my cousin’s dentist’s mother-in-law’s photo album from 2008. And I also really like to read, and I want to read more. Duh.
4. Blog more – I like this thing! I like documenting my journey. For me and maybe for anyone I might inspire even a little?
5. Sleep 7+ hours per night – I mean…pretty self explanatory.
6. Eat with intention – Because it’s too easy and dangerous to eat mindlessly or emotionally
7. Run – 750+ miles. And complete my first half-marathon. I’m not letting this darn ankle get me down.
8. Pay bills when they come in – Heard this tip from my step-mother-in-law (Hi, Polly, if you’re reading!). I love this idea, and I’ve already paid off both my credit cards BEFORE Christmas. So much less stress than waiting until the due date.
9. Be on top of cleaning the damn house – Because it’s much easier to spend 10 minutes a day on this than hours during the weekend
10. Stop eating by 8:00 P.M. – I’ve done this in the past, and it WORKS.
11. Devices down when mini-me is awake – Another fairly self-explanatory one
12. #RelationshipGoals – Monthly date night with the hubby? I think yes. It’s easy to forget about this when you have a screaming demon toddler highly enthusiastic and spunky child in the house.
13. Stay in tune with friends/family – This should always be a priority, but I have a hard time getting outside of my own head some days.
14. Make people feel special – Each Christmas, I’m reminded of how wonderful it feels to give gifts and let people know I think of them/value them/love them dearly. I want to find ways to do this all year long.
15. Be a strong example – Because Mini-Me deserves it.
16. Work hard and work well – I am SO blessed to have the job I have. And I want to be good at it and give back.
17. Spend wisely – Again, something I should do all the time, but it’s easy to get carried away. I’d rather give more than I get.

So there you have it. No particular order. Unedited. Unfiltered. But that’s what I aim for on this lil’ blog. Honesty and openness.

What are YOU going to focus on this year?

Read on. Run on.
Cassie

P.S. The following picture is Mini-Me yesterday. And probably me tomorrow.

12/9/16: Friday Favorites

Oy. What a week. I can’t even tell you how excited I am to see this weekend (as long as nothing else “fun” springs up).

Last Friday was fun! We visited a light display, and we even caught Santa just before he was done visiting with kids for the evening.

And it’s a darn good thing, because on Saturday morning, the kiddo woke me up to say, “Mama, I don’t feel very well.” And then she proceeded to barf on my last clean pair of yoga pants. We assumed it was an icky tummy due to her long-standing cold. Mucus buildup is nothing to mess with, people. (TMI. Sorry.)

We had planned on a day of holiday fun, and I had a 9 mile long run planned. The run didn’t happen. And the holiday fun…well, it ended up being the “stay at home on the couch and watch Christmas movies” variety. I’m not opposed to that. A good reminder that slowing down can be beneficial this time of year.

Girlfriend still smiles when she’s sick.

Stir-crazy by the end of the day.

Feeling better the next morning.

Sunday, I woke up feeling my cold had progressed to give me a terrible case of dry throat/pounding head. And I knew my long run just wasn’t happening. I felt guilty for it, but I’m also trying to give myself a break.

Got a good run in Tuesday morning, and was finally starting to feel better. I should have known…

A nice post-run foam roll.

Tuesday night, I ended up lying on the bathroom floor with an intense version of whatever bug the kiddo had over the weekend.

Summary: Gross. Gross. Exhausting. Gross. I felt less gross on Wednesday, but I was SO tired. I slept all day and all night. And I was still tired Thursday! Goodness.

At least I always have someone to make me smile.

Today, I woke up feeling a bit more pep in my step. Even got my butt on the treadmill and felt pretty good…and now it seems my cold has progressed to my eyes. Yep, that’s right. Conjunctivitis in both eyes. My car was dead this morning, too. (Thanks, Dad, for the ride/assist!)

Post-treadmill, pre-pinkeye realization, pre-dead car dilemma selfie.

We have the kiddo’s Christmas concert tonight, and then I hope to re-group. Clean. Detox. (Okay, maybe not detox completely, because Mama needs a glass of wine or two.) Re-organize.

If there’s anything I’m trying to practice this week, it’s being gentle to myself. Be kind. Do my best and don’t expect more. I hope you’re able to do the same this time of year.

We will get there.

Read on. Run on.
Cassie

11/22/16: Tasty Tuesday

I woke up late this morning. Well, let me correct myself. I woke up at a proper time to get my 30-minute run done, but I fell back asleep before my feet actually hit the floor. After I finally convinced myself to get up and out the door, it was raining. And the rain was freezing. Nonetheless, I threw on my reflective “vest” and had a brief, dark, slippery 20-minute run. Hoping to squeeze in some other form of movement tonight. Maybe a few minutes on the treadmill, but I’m not happy about it. Ah, ’tis the season.

See vest here.

It seems to be a slightly more recent fad to “sneak” vegetables into food for kids. I’m not sure I necessarily can get totally behind this methodology, because I think kids need to learn to like veggies and foods of all kinds. Although I certainly see the reasoning behind it if you have a just-plain-stubborn, refuse-it-all, eater.

For me, the pickiest eater I have is my husband (sorry, dear). He has never been a huge vegetable fan, and I know he could use a lot more in his life. We all could, for that matter.

So when he asked me to pick up some ingredients at the store for cauliflower “fried rice,” I was ALL over his enthusiasm. I did some digging for recipes and found one that seemed simple enough from Hungry Girl. Even better, he prepared it himself while I played with the kiddo after a long weekend of work.

This recipe did not disappoint. (And I don’t even have a picture of it, because we gobbled it up.) Hubby and I both inhaled multiple helpings, which is totally cool in this case. Satisfying and surprisingly similar in texture to actual fried rice.

The kiddo is not a big eater. And that means of any food, regardless of what type it is. She will often try to negotiate with us to let her eat a few bites of broccoli if it means she doesn’t have to eat the rest of her pasta or cheese (I don’t even understand this or whose child we are raising). That being said, she didn’t eat a ton of this. But she DID eat this and say it was yummy. So that’s a big win, too!

I’m hoarding the leftovers for my own lunches now, but I am already counting down until next week so we can make it again. It may go into our weekly rotation.

Any favorite sneaky (or not-so-sneaky) veggie recipes in your lineup?

Read on. Run on.
Cassie

7/14/16: Thankful Thursday

I slept in today. I didn’t mean to, really. All the cleaning I did made for a late night and a hard sleep. I woke up to DT crawling into bed to snuggle with me at 7:30. That reminded me of how thankful I am for…

1. Sleep: And I need to remember that on the nights I’m tempted to stay up late to read just a few more pages or clean a few more dishes. So many studies have concluded time and time again that getting adequate sleep aids in overall physical and mental wellness. Even Runner’s World reminds me of this almost daily. So I need to keep that in mind, especially since I’m focused on running better and losing weight. Two distinct battles that can benefit tremendously from getting enough shuteye.
2. Northern Minnesota shores: More specifically, Duluth. Whenever I visit Duluth, I fall in love with the city all over again. It’s a bigger city with a smaller feel, and I adore the quirky buildings and friendly vibe.
   As I previously mentioned, I was highly disappointed to not get a nice long run in along the shore. I have a feeling I would have loved it, though. If it weren’t so darn far away from the people I love, I honestly think we’d live there.
3. Tanlines: In most of my summers since I’ve been alive, I have actively avoided the sun and heat. I vowed to never wear shorts, and I hated being in a bathing suit (I guess that part hasn’t really changed).
   I don’t know what changed in me this past year, but I can’t get enough of the heat and sunshine on my skin. Even with practicing sun safety most of the time, I’ve developed a slight tan. Including one gnarly tanline under my Fitbit Surge. I love looking at that bright white strip of skin under it, because it reminds me that I’m healing my mind and my body in new ways this summer.

Alright, well I may be doing my long run tomorrow morning. I best be hitting the proverbial hay early tonight.

Read on. Run on.
Cassie