One week down, forever to go…

Well, I’d say my first week back “on track” (for whatever those words are worth) was a success. My stress level was still through the roof. My family was still sick. It was Valentine’s week, ripe with candy and sweets. But something has changed for me. I was conscious of my body and what I need to do to heal it.

I quickly lost a lot of poundage. I wouldn’t say I’m physically feeling a ton better yet, but I can tell I’m making progress there as well. I don’t expect to continue losing a lot of weight each week. It isn’t realistic, and it isn’t a way to make it last. However, it’s certainly a nice booster at the beginning.

Part of this blog is also going to be me attempting to be open. I’d be lying to myself and others if I didn’t admit a huge part of my journey is tackling the demons that affect my mental health. During┬ámany parts of my life since I was a pre-teen, I’ve dealt with severe bouts of anxiety and depression. This all culminated after dino-baby was born, and the postpartum depression and anxiety nearly did me in. My husband and midwives saved me, and I was put on a low dosage of an anti-depressant.

Well, due to different factors these past couple months, I’m off my dosage as of a couple weeks ago. Those first couple of weeks were chaos in my brain and body. My mind felt crazy and anxious again, the tears flow much more easily, and even my body felt the withdrawal effects (racing heart, general achiness, dizziness, skin crawling). I still feel all these things from time to time, – just ask dino-husband – ┬ábut I feel like the ship is sailing a bit more smoothly.

Anyway, the main focus of this blog is probably self-explanatory. I read. Yes, I read for entertainment. But I also read to educate myself. I have my Master’s degree in library and information science, and I work in a library. It should be pretty clear that I feel reading and educating yourself are important goals. I want to educate myself about getting healthy, and I want to turn my learning journey over to others. At the very least, it makes me feel accountable. More rewarding to me would be opening up a dialogue with someone and learning alongside them. We will see how far this all goes, though.

Keep bookin’ it,
MamaRoB

 

Best Laid Plans

Most of my life has been a series of weight loss and fitness goals. One step forward and two or three or four steps back. I know I need to  move the rest of my life in forward motion, though. I cannot delay much longer, because it will just keep getting more difficult. I’m not athletic by nature. I’m heavier set,  partially by nature. I’m in my element when I’m tucked under a quilt on the couch with a cup of coffee (or wine) in one hand and a book in the other. 

I’m trying to make plans. Plans that won’t let me quit for the hundredth time. Plans that keep me moving and accountable. When I’m moving and accountable, I’m a happier person. I’ve proven this time and time again, and still the healthy lifestyle doesn’t stick.

I’m going to make plans. And I’m going to move forward. And I’m going to do whatever I can to make this time stick. For me. For my kiddo. For the husband. For life. I need to make life better.

…and coffee, too. A self-proclaimed "library nerd" gets moving.

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